“There are some values that you should never compromise on to stay true to yourself; you should be brave to stand up for what you truly believe in even if you stand alone.”
…Roy T. Bennett
Your Core Values + Beliefs + Actions = Authenticity
Your core values determine what is important to you as an individual. They serve as the building blocks for the type of life you want to create. Our values form the foundation of our lives; they determine the decisions that we make and the direction that our lives take.
It is often because we are unclear of what is important to us that we have those feeling that something is missing in our lives, a general feeling of unfulfillment. As the feeling of discomfort and dissatisfaction increases, we experience a sense of restlessness to make changes in our lives although we are unclear as to what to change. When we are out of alignment with our core values, we experience a lack of clarity and a constant feeling of being out of control.
When our core values are not aligned with our purpose, visions and goals, there will be resistance, you will have to exert tremendous amount of energy, effort and will power. Alternatively, when these come into alignment with your core values you will experience more ease, greater fulfillment and you will find that you are energized by your desires. Once you have identified you core values you can then choose beliefs and habits that ensure your life aligns with those values.
Knowing and living from your core values helps you to understand your motivations, your passions, your purpose – what you enjoy, what inspires you, and what you’d like to be more of. Building a lifestyle around your core values create a life that is more fulfilling and meaningful.
When we are connected to our core values, we are courageous enough to live the life of our dreams according to our vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others. We demonstrate honesty and integrity about who we are and what we want, freeing us to take risks for our desires and self-expression rather than lie to ourselves and make excuses to in our comfort zones. Its only after we step out of our comfort zone that we begin to change, grow and transform.
How to discover your Core Values
Commit the time:
In discovering our core values, we must be willing to dedicate the time it will take to deep drive-in self-reflection. All the answers are within you and all you need to do is to create the space for them to rise to the surface.
Find a quiet place to be alone, all you will need is something to take notes, sit and really relax. Take a few deep breathes and then ask yourself;
What in my life is most important to me?
As answers come do not question them just freely write down whatever comes up. Make the list as long as possible, listen to that intuitive voice and be courageous enough to write down anything that arises.
Here is a list of some of the most common core values to assist you, see if anything resonates with you.
Authenticity, Achievement, Adventure, Balance, Beauty, Career, Compassion, Community, Creativity, Contribution, Family, Fame, Friendships, Fun, Growth, Happiness, Honesty, Harmony, Health and Wellness, Justice, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Love, Peace, Purpose, Transformation, Freedom, Unity, Security, Service, Spirituality, Success, Wealth, Wisdom.
Contemplate those you most admire, role models or traits in others that you respect and appreciate.
Values are typically personified in people whom we admire and love. Generally, when we admire a quality in others it’s because it’s something, we value ourselves. Make a second list of a few people you admire, people you would consider as role models or those with admirable traits.
For example, you could include a friend because of their discipline and perseverance. You could include a family member because of their empathy and compassion.
Also consider a few visionaries, those larger-than-life personas. For example, you may admire Bob Marley for his passion for music and commitment to charity and social revolution. Martin Luther King Jr. because of his unwavering faith and commitment to fighting for social justice. Michael Jordan for his dedication to excellence and mastery of the game of basketball, he is constantly referred to as a perfectionist in his art. Note the values that these people embody.
Consider your Experiences
It has been said that experience is our best teachers, and the worst experience teaches the best lessons. Think back to the most fulfilling and most painful moments in your life. Consider what these experiences reveal about your core values.
For example, Rosa Parks showed what ordinary people can accomplish when they remain resolute to their beliefs and willing to challenge injustice. That negative experience on the bus sparked a passion that was dormant inside her to become one of the most influential personas in American civil rights movement.
What experience can you recall from your childhood that was exciting, fulfilling, and inspirational.
As early as I can remember I have been a fan of positive quotes. As a teenager I had a notebook in which I collected quotes for inspiration and motivation. Some of my most inspiring moments came during assembly period in high school, ever so often we would have a guest speaker who would share their life stories. Some of these stories had a profound impact, even though I didn’t realize it then, I recall leaving feeling hopeful, alive and sometimes empowered.
Categorize and Identify the Commonalities
The next step is to review your list and identify the values that you can group into categories. You will find that some of your written value are relates and can be grouped into a single category. For example, security, stability and comfort can be placed under Prosperity. Its not that important what word you choose as the chief value once you can identify what that word means to you. Personally, Freedom represents empowerment, adventure, and abundance, for another person freedom can easily represent something else.
Now that you have categorized your values and chosen the word that best represents the group. You can leave the other words in the group in parentheses next to the central theme word to give the primary value more context.
For example, Freedom (empowerment, adventure and abundance)
Choose your Core Values
Review your current list of core values and rank them in order of importance. Aim to keep this list concise, narrow it down to about 5 to 8 values.
For example, my top 5 core values in order of importance are:
- Spirituality (Connection to a higher power, Unity, Oneness)
- Transformation (Personal Growth and Development)
- Relationships (Parenting, Spouse, Family, Friends)
- Health and Wellness (Fitness, Diet, Mental and Emotional wellbeing)
- Contribution (Service, Charity, Impact)